This graphic guidebook was written by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan
Written by Erika Moen and Matthew Nolan, layout assistance by Maria Frantz
I have never read this book before.
Ratings: Amazon: 4.2 out of 5 stars. Goodreads: 4.11 out of 5 stars.
Summary: Essentially it is a graphic sex education, but it’s more than that. It includes a lot of information about relationships, sex orientation, and sex identity.
It has been banned from school districts because of its sexual content. It does graphically show specific parts of the human body, of course, since it is a sex education book, it shows the sex organs. There are also curse words, and usually used when an average human uses them like “f%$k the patriarchy.” The following chapters are the ones that have caused the most uproar: “What is…your body?” “What is…masturbation?” “What is…safe sex?” “What is…climax?” “What is…sexting?” “What are…kinks, fantasies, and porn?” It is difficult for objectors to think of their teenagers reading about masturbation, porn, kink, and sexting.
My personal take: I am someone who was raised with one of the most minimal sex education. I don’t even remember having it at school and to explain where babies came from, my mother gave us a VHS of a very sugar-coated version of sex education, in cartoon form no less. I was taught that abstinence is the only form of birth control. It was also encouraged that women live with men unless they were married. As someone with a high sex drive (I apologize for the TMI), I had a huge amount of guilt and shame while I was a teenager. That just complicated everything else I was going through as a teenager. Now, I am a much more knowledgeable person, especially while being a military sexual assault response coordinator. Some sex offenders commit their criminal acts without realizing how wrong they are, so it is important to teach people early.
Before I speak about the more contentious subjects, I wanted to point out the good things about this book. First, it shows a representation of the many different humans in this world; small, tall, overweight, skinny, amputee, mobility-impaired, trans, intersex, black, white, Asian, lesbian, gay, straight, deaf, etc. But what is more important, is the discussion of consent and abuse. Consent is brought up in multiple chapters, and I believe this is a very important lesson to teach. Lastly, it normalizes things that many people may feel guilt or shame about, which could cause the development of mental health conditions.
Here is a link of a conversation with the two authors: https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/childrens/childrens-authors/article/86195-four-questions-for-erika-moen-and-matthew-nolan.html
So, let’s go over the objected chapters. First, “What is..Your Body?” is a graphic exploration of the many different body types and their sex organs. This does go over some trans and intersex bodies, which I feel is important because so many people do not understand them. Many reject what they do not know. The next chapter is pretty difficult for parents, and that is “What is…masturbation?” There could be a combination of reasons why some parents feel that way, some can be religious, and others can be old-school thoughts that they will cause blindness, addictions, or disease. There are actually benefits of masturbation, and personally, you can’t get pregnant or contract STDs for masturbating. Next is about safe sex, which has a lot of explanations. What was important was the specification of these safe sex precautions’ effectiveness. Now the climax chapter, which is pretty important because so many people base their whole success in bed on whether their partner climaxed and how many times, which can cause conflict.
The sexting chapter has caused many objections because parents wouldn’t want their kids to learn how to sext. Well, I have to break it to you, but they sext whether or not they read this book or any other literary work on their own. “At least 1 in 4 teens are receiving sexually explicit texts and emails. At least 1 in 7 are sending sexts. More than 1 in 10 teens are forwarding sexts without consent. About 1 in 12 teens have had sexts they’ve sent forwarded without their consent.” So how about teens learning about sexting so that they can do it without getting themselves into a lot of trouble? Sounds a bit like teaching about safe sex, right? This chapter also includes consent and communication in order to not violate the other person’s privacy, even about unsolicited dick pics. Lastly, this chapter also warns readers not to do this prior to turning 18, so this book in no way encourages minors to sext.
Next is about kinks, fantasies, and porn, yet another difficult subject. One of the most important points about this chapter is the explanation that “thoughts and actions are different things,” that “it’s okay to have weird fantasies,” and how not to hurt people. By that, I mean if a person wanted to act out a fantasy, “as long as you’re not imposing on others, it’s between consenting individuals, and it’s legal and safe, you’re good to go! … If it’s not ALL of those things, then acting on a fantasy becomes unethical, harmful, and possibly illegal.” It also recommends that if a person is thinking about making a dangerous fantasy a reality, it is also important to seek out a professional. This chapter specifies again the illegal nature of underage people watching porn.
Here are a few links for those who object to accessing this book:
https://www.newsdakota.com/2023/01/05/vcbc-public-library-hearing-about-lets-talk-about-it-book/
The Banned Book Reviewer 
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